Yesterday, I went out with a close friend of mine doing all those girly stuff (well, mostly shopping and gossiping). we talked about our boyfriends and how funny when life changes your direction you least expected. my friend has a really high taste in men. she prefers erm, mat salleh la basically. she dated so many expatriates, from all over the world... enjoyed their company, in fact she thinks malay guys suck. she prefers smart guys, mature, tall, handsome, bonus if there's an accent... and she cant see it in our guys. haha. well, after years and years dating them... she finally fall for a malay guy, whom she now describes as "the one". well, you know when you think you have finally met the one, it means the relationship is fucking serious.
and it made me wonder. H is nothing like my type of guy (except the fact that he's tall. ha ha). i have always been interested in skinny, taller than me and fair-skinned guys. not that H is fat but he is not skinny enough. hard to explain when it comes to skinny. but what i know is i never liked guys with mustache and beard, like him. seriously. i used to asked my close friends to shave when they grow their hair a bit more than usual. i hate it. it makes them look, messy. and what i loveeee the most is the shy ones. the more you don't want to talk to me, the more attracted i am to you. haha. i like teasing them. i find that shy personality in a person is very very attractive. you know, those who barely speaks, smile all the time, couldn't make eye contact more than 2 seconds. yeap, i love these guys.
when i shared this with my friend, we both laughed at our own taste in men and how'd it turn upside down to a totally opposite direction AND IT WORKS BETTER. we can't fight the fate though. she used to have a serious relationship with this mat salleh guy. it was promising a future she's been dreaming of. but then the guy had to leave country. everything fell apart for her. dream crushed. hope destroyed. just like that. i feel sorry for her and i understand it very well. i used to have a long, serious, happy relationship that i thought would have a happy ending. i really thought he was the one, he was my everything, that i would do anything in the world just to be with him. well, i feel sorry for myself for thinking that way. i should have gotten out of the relationship earlier when things started to get ugly. nevertheless, it had taught me a lot in relationship. no matter how much you love that someone, never put yourself that low, so humiliating and stupid. it taught me to stand up for myself and be a better person. never to be treated like a dog again. ever. fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
i never knew where my relationship with h would go to but i am grateful and happier at the moment. i dont want to get my hopes so high like last time. i dont want to expect something so big that might fail me and break me up into pieces again. i am just going to where ever this relationship going to take me to and cherish this moment. who knows, if i dont end up forever with h, there might be a better life ahead (even if i dont want to think about it that way). cant stay negative all the time when a relationship fails, dont i?
guys out there, respect women the way they are. ladies, stand up for your rights.
